[Oxford University Light Entertainment Society]

Poirot: A Musical (Trinity, 2010)

When the great (straight) detective Hercule Poirot is invited to a wedding party, nothing can possibly go wrong. The mansion is secluded, the family is argumentative, and the ducks are on the offensive. Did the butler do it? We don't know, but the wedding guests are taking bets.


Poirot-Jonathan Sims (St. Hilda's)
"Straighter than an incredibly straight arrow designed to fly in a straight line"
Hastings-Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's)
"My hair is unusually bouncy"
Sergeant Higgins-Martin Corcoran (St. Edmund Hall)
"soft as pussings"
Miss Green-Hannah Snell (Balliol)
"awfully large swallow"
Mrs Green-Jessica Law (St.Anne's)
"If I wasn't so emotionally repressed, I'd slap you"
Mr Green
(Tuesday and Wednesday)
-Matthew Williams (mansfield)
"strawberry tart"
Mr Green
-Rory Morrison (Mansfield)
Mrs White-rk hughes (hertford)
"cantankerous old bitch"
Miss Scarlet-Emma New (St Hildas)
"soon you'll be over her and under me!"
Parker-Perry Hartland-Asbury (Mansfield)
"comic fainting"
Miss Lemon-Sasha McKenna (St Hildas)
Mr Musard-Anselm Aston
"exploring the crevices"
Archie the Policeman-Alice Young (Hertford)
"light relief"
Eldritch the Policeman
(Tuesday and Wednesday)
-Alice Young (Hertford)
Eldritch the Policeman
-Matthew Williams (mansfield)
Wedding Guest 1-Eilise Norris (Mansfield)
"here to pick up insecure bridesmaids"
Wedding Guest 2-Felicity White (Merton)
"what was that abour my flower garden?"
Written by-Sasha McKenna (St Hildas)
"your mum"
Director-Kate Morris (St Hildas)
"ham it up, lead with your boobs"
Musical Director-Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's)
"hands of blue"
Songs by-Jessica Law (St.Anne's)
Fabby Styles (Oriel)
Emma New (St Hildas)
Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's)

Script and Programme

Flosscars Wins

Best SongJessica Law (St.Anne's) for The Plotting Song

Flosscars Nominations

Best HeroJonathan Sims (St. Hilda's) for Poirot
Best Bad Guy/VillainEmma New (St Hildas) for Miss Scarlet
Perry Hartland-Asbury (Mansfield) for Professor Plum
The "M-Tropolis and M-Town" award for Best Double Act/CoupleHannah Snell (Balliol) and Anselm Aston for Miss Green and Mr Mustard
Jonathan Sims (St. Hilda's) and Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's) for Poirot and Hastings
The "Tom Reynolds" Award for most Spurious AccentJonathan Sims (St. Hilda's) for Poirot
Best Directing TeamKate Morris (St Hildas) and Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's)
Best WriterSasha McKenna (St Hildas)
Best SongEmma New (St Hildas) for Oh Miss Scarlet
Best CostumeJonathan Sims (St. Hilda's) for His moustache in Poirot
Emma New (St Hildas) for Miss Scarlett / French Maid
Best fluff/fuck-up/cock-up during a performanceEmma New (St Hildas) for Concussing the audience.
Rory Morrison (Mansfield) for Epic beer fail - the best pratfall I've ever seen
Best Ad LibSasha McKenna (St Hildas) for giving Hastings a hand-job in the final song of Poirot
Jonathan Sims (St. Hilda's) for "I hope have a long, 'appy life stealing childrens pokemon together."
Best Quote (during a show)Jessica Law (St.Anne's) and Sasha McKenna (St Hildas) for "If I wasn't so emotionally repressed, I'd slap you."
The "Ooh you luvvie" Award for actually being able to actEmma New (St Hildas) for Miss Scarlet
Jonathan Sims (St. Hilda's) for Poirot
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