[Oxford University Light Entertainment Society]

Let's Steal the Crown Jewels! (Hilary, 2016)

An evil mastermind alone and brooding deep in his volcano lair, three (and a half) scouts determined to attain a badge whispered of only in legend, a group of petty thieves set on striving for greater things, one goal… TO STEAL THE CROWN JEWELS. Follow the successes and follies of three rivals as they (in)expertly attempt to get their hands on the greatest prize of them all. Do a group of jam-loving police, the ‘Quite Tricky Missions Executive’, Sherlock Holmes and some guy that really just won’t stop monologuing really have what it takes to save the day? Or shall the jewels fall into the devious and dastardly hands of Dr Diabolical?


The Metropolitan Police
Fred-Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen)
"Try to leave the building standing"
Tim-Jihoon Kang
"I just like moving the little horsey"
Susan-Georgie Atton (Somerville)
"He started it!"
Becky (Mon, Weds)-Jasper Russell (Merton)
"I think they may be lying"
Becky (Tues)-Branoc Richards (Magdalen)
"Part time police"
The 3rd Upper Poppleton Scout Troop
Lily-Beth Mabbutt (LMH)
"I'm the Greatest Scout!"
Lucy-Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi)
"Shut up Alfie!"
Alfie-Connie Tongue
"I'm a distraction!"
Jamie-Georgia Nicholson (St Hugh's)
"I'm hungry"
The Quite Tricky Missions Executive
Tom Fuse-Adrian Clayton (Hertford (Graduated))
"All round nigh-invicible action hero!"
Scotty McGeek-Patrick Kidger (Magdalen)
"Oh, that's absurd"
Jane Pistol-Anna Spearing-Ewyn (St. John's College)
"I'll shoot your kneecaps"
Ryan Bungee-Jake Griffiths (Brasenose)
"Toned, muscular gut"
Franklin R. Double-Agent-Leo Tucker
"Your Wifi is dreadful"
The Lamb and Greyhound Gang
Zoe-Ana Pagu (St. Edmund Hall)
"Just stuff his body under the table"
Alan-Bertie Veres
Kate-Laura Hankins (Magdalen)
"Can we nut 'em?"
Gary-Tristan Cresswell (Sheffield)
"Ain't done nothing"
Dr Diabolical-James Carter (Ex-Magdalen)
"Incompetent fools!"
Alpha-Kiwi Apteryx-Tokoeka (Charles Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters)
"Do I have to do everything myself?"
Theta (Mon, Weds)-Fyr
"The cook"
Theta (Thurs)-RA Neat
"Also the demolitions expert"
Epsilon-Michael Chester
"The duffel bag carrier"
Assorted Detectives
Flick Ranger-James Bruce (Corpus Christi)
"Dinghy back alley"
Sherlock Holmes-Tom Lear (Magdalen)
"John, get back on stage"
John Watson-Rob Selth (Univ)
"I'm not your assistant"
Bar Staff
Sam the Barkeep-RA Neat
"You've still not paid your tab!"
Production Team
Director-Georgie Atton (Somerville)
"Where did I put my script?"
Co-Assistant Director-Tom Lear (Magdalen)
"It's the script's fault"
Assistant Co-Director-Branoc Richards (Magdalen)
"I am a flip chart"
Writer-Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen)
"Stop adding romantic subplots"
Writer-Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's)
"Not quite Tom"
Stage Manger-Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen)
"Why did I write in *annoying prop*?"
Producer-Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi)
"Franulated Sugar"
Technical Director-Morgan Wilkinson (Hertford)
"Evil wash"
Photographer-Georgie Atton (Somerville)
"Memory card full?!"
I'm the Greatest Scout!-Tom Lear (Magdalen)
"I wrote sheet music!"
The Deductive Sherlock Holmes-Matilda Tempest (Mansfield)
"Cameron's Mysterious Friend"
Diabolical!-James Carter (Ex-Magdalen)
Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi)
"Muh ha ha ha ha"
How To Be A Scout-Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's)
"I know what key I'm playing in"
Betrayal Blues-Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's)
"Smooth jazz"
Finale (Lyrics)-Tom Lear (Magdalen)
"You wouldn't download a crown"
Finale (Music)-Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's)
"Dun dun dunnnnn!"
All music arranged and played by-Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's)
"Music Monkey"

Script and Programme

    Flosscars Wins

    Best Morally Ambiguous PersonJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for Flick Ranger
    Most Spurious AccentJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for Flick Ranger's Various Accents
    Best Cock-up During a PerformanceJasper Russell (Merton) for accidentally escaping custody several scenes too early
    Best Cock-up Backstage or During RehearsalsThe entire Let's Steal cast except for Ben for Getting distracted by a badger
    The 'Ooh you luvvie' Award for Actually Being Able to ActJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for Flick Ranger
    The 'Beyond the Call of Duty' Award for Going Beyond the Call of DutyGeorgie Atton (Somerville) for performing and backstage directing despite having thrown up a dozen times that day

    Flosscars Nominations

    Best HeroAdrian Clayton (Hertford (Graduated)) for Tom Fuse
    Jake Griffiths (Brasenose) for Ryan Bungee
    Tom Lear (Magdalen) for Sherlock Holmes
    Best HeroineBeth Mabbutt (LMH) for Lily
    Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi) for Lucy
    Best VillainJames Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
    Best Morally Ambiguous PersonRA Neat for Sam the Barkeep
    Leo Tucker (Wadham) for Franklin R. Double-Agent
    Best Double Act / CoupleBeth Mabbutt (LMH) and Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi) for Lily and Lucy
    Tom Lear (Magdalen) and Rob Selth (Univ) for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson
    Most Spurious AccentBenjamin Kybett (Magdalen) for Kermit the Frog
    James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
    Best Directing TeamGeorgie Atton (Somerville), Tom Lear (Magdalen) and Branoc Richards (Magdalen)
    Best Writer(s)Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's) and Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen)
    Best SongMatilda Tempest (Mansfield) for The Deductive Sherlock Holmes
    James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) and Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi) for Diabolical!
    Tom Lear (Magdalen) for Stealing is a Crime
    Best CostumeJames Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
    Best Worst PropBenjamin Kybett (Magdalen) for the Super Laser
    The Steinway for being in the way
    Best Best PropLaura Hankins (Magdalen) for Kate's stool
    Best Cock-up During a PerformanceJasper Russell (Merton) for accidentally handcuffing the several thousand pound Steinway
    James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) and Leo Tucker (Wadham) for completely losing the thread of their scene
    Tristan Cresswell (Sheffield) for falling off the stage while carrying a flipchart
    Best Cock-up Backstage or During RehearsalsJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for 'Dinghy back alley'
    Georgia Nicholson (St Hugh's) for rewriting a dark and gritty ending to Let's Steal in which Jamie threatens to shoot Lily
    Best Ad-LibJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) and Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen) for The Rainbow Connection
    Rob Selth (Univ) for all the Dom John lines
    James Bruce (Corpus Christi) for returning underwear thrown at him to someone who was definitely not the owner
    The 'Ooh you luvvie' Award for Actually Being Able to ActBeth Mabbutt (LMH) for Lily
    James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
    The 'Beyond the Call of Duty' Award for Going Beyond the Call of DutyThe Badger for coming back 2 nights in a row
    Mr Bombardier for leaving the comfort of THOR to appear in another OULES show
    James Wallis for putting up with all the cast parties at THOR during FOTA and Let's Steal the Crown Jewels despite not being an OULE
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