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Let's Steal the Crown Jewels! (Hilary, 2016)

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An evil mastermind alone and brooding deep in his volcano lair, three (and a half) scouts determined to attain a badge whispered of only in legend, a group of petty thieves set on striving for greater things, one goal… TO STEAL THE CROWN JEWELS. Follow the successes and follies of three rivals as they (in)expertly attempt to get their hands on the greatest prize of them all. Do a group of jam-loving police, the ‘Quite Tricky Missions Executive’, Sherlock Holmes and some guy that really just won’t stop monologuing really have what it takes to save the day? Or shall the jewels fall into the devious and dastardly hands of Dr Diabolical?


The Metropolitan Police

  • Fred - Benjamin “Try to leave the building standing” Kybett (Magdalen)
  • Tim - Jihoon “I just like moving the little horsey” Kang
  • Susan - Georgie “He started it!” Atton (Somerville)
  • Becky (Mon, Weds) - Jasper Rose “I think they may be lying” Russell (Merton)
  • Becky (Tues) - Branoc “Part time police” Richards (Magdalen)

The 3rd Upper Poppleton Scout Troop

  • Lily - Beth “I'm the Greatest Scout!” Mabbutt (LMH)
  • Lucy - Frances “Shut up Alfie!” Livesey (Corpus Christi)
  • Alfie - Connie “I'm a distraction!” Tongue
  • Jaime - Georgia “I'm hungry” Nicholson (St Hugh's)

The Quite Tricky Missions Executive

  • Tom Fuse - Adrian “All round nigh-invicible action hero!” Clayton (Hertford (Graduated))
  • Scotty McGeek - Patrick “Oh, that's absurd” Kidger (Magdalen)
  • Jane Pistol - Anna “I'll shoot your kneecaps” Spearing-Ewyn (St. John's College)
  • Ryan Bungee - Jake “Toned, muscular gut” Griffiths (Brasenose)
  • Franklin R. Double-Agent - Leo “Your Wifi is dreadful” Tucker (Wadham)

The Lamb and Greyhound Gang

  • Zoe - Ana “Just stuff his body under the table” Pagu (St. Edmund Hall)
  • Alan - Bertie “Blimey!” Veres
  • Kate - Laura “Can we nut 'em?” Hankins (Magdalen)
  • Gary - Tristan “Ain't done nothing” Cresswell (Sheffield)


  • Dr Diabolical - James “Incompetent fools!” Carter (Ex-Magdalen)
  • Alpha - Kiwi “Do I have to do everything myself?” Apteryx-Tokoeka (Charles Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters)
  • Theta (Mon, Weds) - Fyr “The cook”
  • Theta (Tues) - RA “Also the demolitions expert” Neat
  • Epsilon - Michael “The duffel bag carrier” Chester

Assorted Detectives

  • Flick Ranger - James “Dinghy back alley” Bruce (Corpus Christi)
  • Sherlock Holmes - Katie “John, get back on stage” Moore (Magdalen)
  • John Watson - Rob “I'm not your assistant” Selth (Univ)

Bar Staff

  • Sam the Barkeep - RA “You've still not paid your tab!” Neat


  • Director - Georgie “Where did I put my script?” Atton (Somerville)
  • Co-Assistant Director - Katie “It's the script's fault” Moore (Magdalen)
  • Assistant Co-Director - Branoc “I am a flip chart” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Writer - Benjamin “Stop adding romantic subplots” Kybett (Magdalen)
  • Writer - Cameron “Not quite Katie” Alsop (St Catherine's)
  • Stage Manager - Benjamin “Why did I write in *annoying prop*?” Kybett (Magdalen)
  • Producer - Frances “Franulated Sugar” Livesey (Corpus Christi)
  • Technical Director - Morgan “Evil wash” Wilkinson (Hertford)
  • Photographer - Georgie “Memory card full?!” Atton (Somerville)


  • The Greatest Scout - Katie “I wrote sheet music!” Moore (Magdalen)
  • The Deductive Sherlock Holmes - Matilda “Cameron's Mysterious Friend” Tempest (Mansfield)
  • Diabolical! - James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) and Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi)
  • How to Be a Scout - Cameron “I know what key I'm playing in” Alsop (St Catherine's)
  • Betrayal Blues - Cameron “Smooth jazz” Alsop (St Catherine's)
  • Finale (Lyrics) - Katie “You wouldn't download a crown” Moore (Magdalen)
  • Finale (Music) - Cameron “Dun dun dunnnnn!” Alsop (St Catherine's)
  • All Music Arranged and Played by - Cameron “Music Monkey” Alsop (St Catherine's)

Script and Programme

Flosscars Wins

Best Morally Ambiguous PersonJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for Flick Ranger
Most Spurious AccentJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for Flick Ranger's Various Accents
Best Cock-up During a PerformanceJasper Rose Russell (Merton) for accidentally escaping custody several scenes too early
Best Cock-up Backstage or During RehearsalsThe entire Let's Steal cast except for Ben for Getting distracted by a badger
The 'Ooh you luvvie' Award for Actually Being Able to ActJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for Flick Ranger
The 'Beyond the Call of Duty' Award for Going Beyond the Call of DutyGeorgie Atton (Somerville) for performing and backstage directing despite having thrown up a dozen times that day

Flosscars Nominations

Best HeroAdrian Clayton (Hertford (Graduated)) for Tom Fuse
Jake Griffiths (Brasenose) for Ryan Bungee
Katie Moore (Magdalen) for Sherlock Holmes
Best HeroineBeth Mabbutt (LMH) for Lily
Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi) for Lucy
Best VillainJames Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
Best Morally Ambiguous PersonRA Neat for Sam the Barkeep
Leo Tucker (Wadham) for Franklin R. Double-Agent
Best Double Act / CoupleBeth Mabbutt (LMH) and Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi) for Lily and Lucy
Katie Moore (Magdalen) and Rob Selth (Univ) for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson
Most Spurious AccentBenjamin Kybett (Magdalen) for Kermit the Frog
James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
Best Directing TeamGeorgie Atton (Somerville), Katie Moore (Magdalen) and Branoc Richards (Magdalen)
Best Writer(s)Cameron Alsop (St Catherine's) and Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen)
Best SongMatilda Tempest (Mansfield) for The Deductive Sherlock Holmes
James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) and Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi) for Diabolical!
Katie Moore (Magdalen) for Stealing is a Crime
Best CostumeJames Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
Best Worst PropBenjamin Kybett (Magdalen) for the Super Laser
The Steinway for being in the way
Best Best PropLaura Hankins (Magdalen) for Kate's stool
Best Cock-up During a PerformanceJasper Rose Russell (Merton) for accidentally handcuffing the several thousand pound Steinway
James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) and Leo Tucker (Wadham) for completely losing the thread of their scene
Tristan Cresswell (Sheffield) for falling off the stage while carrying a flipchart
Best Cock-up Backstage or During RehearsalsJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) for 'Dinghy back alley'
Georgia Nicholson (St Hugh's) for rewriting a dark and gritty ending to Let's Steal in which Jamie threatens to shoot Lily
Best Ad-LibJames Bruce (Corpus Christi) and Benjamin Kybett (Magdalen) for The Rainbow Connection
Rob Selth (Univ) for all the Dom John lines
James Bruce (Corpus Christi) for returning underwear thrown at him to someone who was definitely not the owner
The 'Ooh you luvvie' Award for Actually Being Able to ActBeth Mabbutt (LMH) for Lily
James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) for Dr Diabolical
The 'Beyond the Call of Duty' Award for Going Beyond the Call of DutyThe Badger for coming back 2 nights in a row
Mr Bombardier for leaving the comfort of THOR to appear in another OULES show
James Wallis for putting up with all the cast parties at THOR during FOTA and Let's Steal the Crown Jewels despite not being an OULE
shows/lstcj.txt · Last modified: 2020/07/12 20:29 by katie