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Rumpelstiltskin (Hilary, 2022)

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Bargaining with Rumpelstiltskin never turns out well, even if it might get you out of the hardest exam of your life! Our hero realises their mistake a little too late – can they still find a way to triumph, or will this fairytale have an unhappy ending?


The Sams

The Emotions

  • Logic - Will “I was distracted by fantastic sex” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Anxiety - Ali “I smell burning in this room here” Witheford (Magdalen)
  • Romance - Grace “hot chocolate leads to sex” Masback (Wadham)


  • Alex - Lily “awkward silence” Massey (Pembroke)


  • Rumpelstiltskin - Charlie “aiming for 60% frog” Gill (Green Templeton)


  • Dominic - Ed “ha ha ha” Tansley (St Anne’s)
  • Nigel - Tom “can't crump the rump” Vallely (Somerville)
  • Boris - Freddie “start crying” Houlahan (Balliol)
  • The Boss - Ana “I look like a clown” Pagu (Linacre)




  • Daphne - Myra “I wanted the genie to sell me some tickets” Cruz
  • Velma - Fen “imagine Jesus' tomb” Brunt (Mansfield)


  • Examiner - Charlie “my basement is filled with chaotic gays” Howley (LMH)
  • Model - Myra “you could get closer” Cruz
  • Hot Chocolate Seller - Ekin “hot chocolate seller, I need your strongest hot chocolates” Pehlivan
  • Alex's dad, Dennis - Tom “just as perky as the day we met” Vallely (Somerville)
  • Alex's mum, Morag - Charlie “dominated this scene” Howley (LMH)
  • Jo - Fen “is this Pride and Prejudice” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Genie - Em “that sounds like the audience's problem” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Stallholder - Ed “something very naughty” Tansley (St Anne’s)
  • Small Child - Ali “if you're ever looking for a small child let me know” Witheford (Magdalen)


  • Directors
    • Jake “this one's productive” Caudwell (Magdalen)
    • Charlie “if you're not sitting in the audience's lap you're doing it wrong” Howley (LMH)
  • Assistant Directors
    • Amy “I don't know if you face was doing what you intended” Hemsworth (Teddy Hall)
    • Jake “I'm going to pick on Grace” Burton
  • Writer - Jake “my apologies” Burton
  • Script Editor - Amy “you're caricatures of people” Hemsworth (Teddy Hall)
  • Musical Directors
  • Producers
    • Charlie “I will channel gremlin” Gill (Green Templeton)
    • Ed “I do think Rumpelstiltskin should dab” Tansley (St Anne’s)
  • Stage Manager - Fen “my pole is vertical” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Lighting - David “Dave, Dave, the one man rave!” Street (LMH)
  • Marketing Manager - Elspeth “confident and obnoxious” Rogers (St John’s)
  • Graphic Design - Andrew “requesting entrance” Raynes (Somerville)
  • Ceilidh Coordinators - Alex “seven out of eight isn't bad” Burgar
  • Pianist - Jack “his fingers do magical things” Wilson (Queen's)
  • Guitarist - Ellie “can we get hotpants as stash” Welbourn (Magdalen)


Script and Programme

Flosscars Wins

Best Song Performance Something New - Lily Massey (Pembroke)
Best Villainous character Rumpelstiltskin - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Best Costume Rumpelstiltskin - actor: Charlie Gill (Green Templeton), provided by: Charlie Howley (LMH)
Best Song Dream - Mo Weckbecker (Mansfield)
Best noise “Giggles” - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Best cock-up during performance “I don't really know what to say to be honest” - Maya Greetham
Best Ad-Lib What if there's no sharks due to unsustainable fishing practices?“ - Ali Witheford (Magdalen)
Best audience participation/heckleTzveta's bra posing a genuine danger to life and Saul, Marianna, Maya - distributing flowers opening night
Best Programme Quote “Aiming for 60% frog” - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Best Quote from a Script For bonus “giggles” - Jake Burton
The 'Beyond the Call of Duty' Award Charlie Howley for being the entire OULES costume department
Best Script Jake Burton

Flosscars Nominations

Best Heroic Character Alex - Lily Massey (Pembroke)
Morag - Charlie Howley (LMH)
Sam 3 - Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble)
The Boss - Ana Pagu (Linacre)
Best group/double act The Emotions - Will Ainsworth (Teddy Hall), Ali Witheford (Magdalen), Grace Masback (Wadham)
The Guides - Sebastian Morson (St. Anne's), Freddie Houlahan (Balliol), Fabian Bourdeaux (St. Anne's)
The Bankers - Tom Vallely (Somerville), Freddie Houlahan (Balliol), Ed Tansley (St. Anne's) \\The Sams - Andrew Raynes (Somerville), Saul Edward (St. Catz), Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble), Maya Greetham (St.Catz)
Best song performance Rumpelstiltskin song - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Dreams - Tom Vallely (Somerville), Freddie Houlahan (Balliol), Ed Tansley (St. Anne's), Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble), Audrey Ciancioni
King of the Ring - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Best costume The Genie - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Morag - Charlie Howley (LMH)
Best Worst Prop Genie’s Glowsticks
Sam’s plant
Scottish Flag
Market statuette
Best Best Prop Cave door - Fen Brunt (Mansfield)
Genie’s Glowsticks
Market statuette
Rumpelstiltskin money - Andrew Raynes (Somerville)
Best Noise Kazoo - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Voice break in exam scene - Andrew Raynes (Somerville)
Rumpelstiltskin’s laugh - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Best cock-up backstage/during rehearsal You're Boris, aren't you?” to not Boris – Ana Pagu (Linacre)
Sam's suitcase – Maya Greetham (St.Catz)
Spilling glow stick juice - Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble)
Best cock-up during performance Morag's dress - Charlie Howley (LMH)
Skipping plot build-up - Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble) and Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Knocking out speaker plug in act two
Genie’s Rap - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Best Ad-Lib Debate of Independence - Tom Vallely (Somerville) and Charlie Howley (LMH)
“A sparkly dress“ - Will Ainsworth (Teddy Hall)
“Dreams seem more believable than this…OULES show thing” - Andrew Raynes (Somerville)
Genie changing their joke every night - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Best Programme Quote “my basement is full of chaotic gays” - Charlie Howley (LMH)
“can't crump the rump” - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
“hot chocolate leads to sex” - Grace Masback (Wadham)
“Exam anxiety…this is pure method” - Andrew Raynes (Somerville)
“if you're ever looking for a small child, let me know” - Ali Witheford (Magdalen)
Best Quote from a Script “You look pretty- pretty tanned I mean”
“She might call it Scotland, but I call it the Far North”
“What if there are sharks? Or no sharks?”
“I'm already accounted for I'm afraid”
“Stealing is a crime”
Best morally ambiguous character Sam - Andrew Raynes (Somerville), Saul Edward (St.Catz), Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble), Maya Greetham (St.Catz)
Morag - Charlie Howley (LMH)
Best Couple Sams and Alex - Andrew Raynes (Somerville), Saul Edward (St.Catz), Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble), Maya Greetham (St.Catz), Lily Massey (Pembroke)
Dennis and Morag - Tom Vallely (Somerville) and Charlie Howley (LMH)
Best Spurious Accent Australian banker - Freddie Houlahan (Balliol)
Morag - Charlie Howley (LMH)
The “Ooh You Luvvie” Award for Actually Being Able to Act Alex - Lily Massey (Pembroke)
Rumpelstiltskin - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Sam 4 - Maya Greetham (St.Catz)
Best Song Rumpelstiltskin song - Ellie Welbourn (Magdalen)
Something New - Ellie Welbourn (Magdalen)
The ‘Beyond the Call of Duty’ Award Ellie Welbourn for writing many songs
Jake Caudwell and Charlie Howley for volunteering to direct against all their own wishes
Aleksandra Matkowska for dealing with venue chaos
David Street for lighting the entire show on the basis of about a week's preparation
shows/rumpelstiltskin.txt · Last modified: 2022/10/11 19:20 by aleks